Follow Up to Abe and Shirley K.

I wrote The Abe and Shirley K blog because as stated, they are a role model for the way that I treat people.  I guess it is a bit sad, but the real thing here is the message in it.  Not to be sad, but to be proactive in your life. Examine your life and take stock of the changes that you need to make.
 
The comments left under it intrigued me; they hit on some very intersting points. Yes, I never thought of it quite like that before. For people who believe in the hereafter, they take great pains to be remembered?? By the way, I like old cemetaries too. They intrigue me.  Spoon River Anthology is a good quick read…if anyone likes such things.
 
And why do we allow the stories of who we are, and who our parents were, and our grandparents were, fade into obscurity?  It is sad that when our grandchildren reach an age when they start to wonder about such things…that there is nothing written down to tell them about their people.  Not that I condone a sense of separitist pride to the point of exclusions and special considerations by other groups, but I think that there is much to be said for having some pride in your heritage and knowing the history of where and who, so we understand how and why we are now.
 
And for the souls that say they never allowed to have that kind of love…who did not allow it?  Sometimes we deny ourselves that love…for the most inexplicable reasons….but a lot of the time it is a feeling of unworthiness. 
 
Sometimes I think that we should sit down once a year, perhaps on our birthday, and make a list of what we have done…the good things, the little things, and be very thorough. We do tend to downplay who we are and what we do and what we have done.  Why do we do that?  Not that I mean that we should brag, but if we keep telling other people that we are nothing special, and that we have done nothing great, well then, by Jeez, we start to believe it!  And what you have done that seems like nothing at all to you, someone else will look at it and think, ‘wow, I could never have done that.’
 
I am one to talk, lol, you know I pulled a good deed out of a blog in December, because I think that if we talk about it then the magic goes away.  But I wanted Sygyzy to be sure to see it; he inspired it.
 
But what I speak of here is far more than good deeds. It is the good person behind the deeds, the wonderful soul that suffers while he watches the human race scratching and kicking around him…the wonderful soul that does not contribute to that scratching and kicking…but instead has soothing words for others and kindness to spare.  And  yes, respect. That is a precious commodity, the big ‘r’!
 
Why do we deny ourselves the recognition that we deserve. I merely mean recognition from ourselves.  We constantly rehearse, in our minds,  what we will tell others.  God forbid that we own up to being a good person, a helpful and kind neighbor, the first to attempt to bring peace between two battling people.  What would people think if we owned up to loving our fellow man, and to putting others needs before our own??
 
We are our own worst critic.  Period.  No one in the world will ever tell you in so many different ways that you are a no account in the human contest.  Why? Why? Why? is all that i can think right now. Why do we insist on this self depracating behavior.
 
Let me tell you a little story about my walk today, which I did plan to blog about in depth, but…tomorrow  is another day.
 
About a mile south of my vehicle, I met three women sitting on a bench by the quarry crossing. They had been walking together and there they sat, chatting.  I smiled as I approached, and I asked them if any of them had an email address. I do that ALOT.  If they do, I offer to take a photo and then email it to them, but alas, nine times out of ten, just like today, these are local farm people who tell me everything from "Oh, we had the internet once, but got rid of it, it was not worth it" to what i heard today amidst much giggling by the two older women. "We are soooo computer illiterate."
 
That simple question turned into a long chat with them.  The "small world" chat as I like to call them.  Who knew who, and who worked where and who knew who that worked where and and ,  "Oh, you are Louie’s daughter, then are you related to Virgil?" "Then is that your maiden name?" "And did you know Doris? and I’ll bet that you know Dolly too???" LOL, it was a nice conversation.  By the time I walked away, I had been completely interrogated, stripped of even the tiniest bit of anonymity that I had ever possessed in their eyes, and they now understood most of my work life, and what I did for a living…and that I had worked my way through the ranks, from entry level to maintaining a small Bio-products Inoculum lab.
 
As I explained, they asked more and more questions, which I have always assumed that it is a curious subject. Most people have no idea how commercial mushrooms are planted, let alone what kind of organsims can be grown to maintain the health of agricultural products.  I believe that it would seem insanely interesting.
 
But by the time the talk was wearing down, I had begun to change my tune, in reaction to theirs. They had taken on the behavior of one who is querying a very educated and important person.
 
I was quick to downplay what I do, and to assure them that I was just one tiny gear in a great big machine. That my job was, indeed, low tech.
 
As I continued south on this glorious seventy degree day (March in western PA, USA) I started to wonder about the whole conversation.  But what really intrigued me was my own reaction to having someone think that I did something wonderful, cool, important, etc, etc…
 
You know, it is just a job that I do; it is no big deal. Really, anyone can do it right?
 
But then as I thought about it a little more, I decided that if I honestly listed what I do for  a living, all of the different hats that I wear in a day at my job, that it is impressive…so why am I so quick to downplay it?
 
Becasue I am a human…a ‘nice’ human that has no compulsion to talk things up.  No need to brag or look important in another’s eyes?
 
And my deeds?  The real me that lurks underneath this skin, lol, this artificially tanned skin??? I am what I am,. and I am who I am. Pretty is as pretty does…and I can tell you that i have my shortcomings just like everyone, but for the most part, philosophically speaking…I am pretty.
 
And for anyone out there who thinks that they are not going to be remembered for the kind things that they do?  Please read "The Five People You Meet In Heaven"
 
You know who you are, and I wish that i could just give you a hug and tell you that you will be remembered. Every life that you have ever touched, every person who has ever touched your life…we are so interwoven. We make the fabric of life.
 
But what is more important than being remembered after we are gone…is being known while we are alive.  Please, reach out and love someone… no one else can stop you from loving someone!  You are the only person standing in the way of it!
 
And a good first step is loving yourself.
 
Make that list of the good that you are and the good that you have done.  List every good point that you have, don’t be afraid to give yourself a little praise for it.
 
The real point of the Abe and the Shirley K blog was not to be remembered, but in finding a life worthy of being remembered, Whether anyone remembers you or not is irrelevent.  It is the joy in the living, when you can live each moment for the here and the now… dwell in the moment with joy as your companion.
 
LOL, this is not what I planned to blog about tonight, but this is what I am passionate about tonight…words that must be written and thoughts that must be shared.
 
So what are your thoughts?
 
If you have taken the time to read this to the end, I challenge you to take a bit of time, and to leave a comment!  I want YOUR list!  I want to know the good of you. Do not include any shortcomings that you feel you have to justify.  I want to hear about what is in your heart, I want to know what good habits you have, what do you think about your fellow man???
 
C’mon…leve me a few words. Almost 5,000 page views and so few comments, save for the precious few who comment to me on a regular basis!  😉

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About Teresa Cypher

I live with my husband in a humble house in the middle of a tall stand of hardwoods, bordered by soybean and corn fields, in western Pennsylvania. Mother of three adult children and "Grammie" to one sweet little girl, I revel in family gatherings and celebrations. My husband and I care for the gardens on our property--our little corner of heaven, have a glass of wine at sunset, and like to watch the stars come out. Currently working in QC and Development for a Bio-technology Company that produces green, agricultural products. I came into the world a creator of stories. Having been born into a litter, the 7th of 8 children, in a farming family, I have spent most of my life trying to be an individual. My dreams took me there. From the time I was a little girl, I was a thinker, spending any time I could find to be alone--the bastion of undisturbed thoughts, dreaming of other worlds and of fairy-tale love. My mind never shut off-- through the years when thoughts allowed me to escape the everyday world of farm life, to the daydreams while I was raising children and being the cook, the baker, the candlestick maker,and the taxi driver-- all while working full time. It took until middle age for me to realize that my meandering mind was writing stories! Once I sat down and started typing, it took 2 months to write my first book. My biggest challenge at first was getting my fingers to type fast enough to keep up with my mind. My daughter bought me a small digital recorder so I could save my thoughts until my fingers could catch up. The story that I wrote, Across The Night Sky ,was years in the making, and timed well...after I had experienced real life and the joys and heartaches it brings. I think that time gave me a well-spring of experiences from which to merge fairy-tale love with the cynicism adult life creates--while never losing sight of the beautiful and wonderful that love is. Writing is my passion...this incredible discovery in mid life that often keeps me up till the wee hours of the morning. I am so very fortunate to have the opportunity to devote my time to something that brings me such joy.
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3 Responses to Follow Up to Abe and Shirley K.

  1. Ewe says:

    I needed that, thank you very much…..

  2. Megan says:

    I especially needed to read this today, Momzee. I\’m getting really nervous about tomorrow\’s interview. I started looking up interview questions and ended up making myself more nervous than when I started. I\’m going to take a cue from you instead and just start thinking about positive things about myself and I hope that my confidence will shine through tomorrow.

    And for you… I will start my list of the "good" in me:

    – I am an empathizer. I know this because my friends come to me when they need an ear. They share their lives\’ challenges, pains and sadness with me openly and without worry that I will judge.

    – I am kind to animals.

    – My smile is inviting. Although I don\’t do it often enough, people smile back when I smile…and my mom told me I\’m prettiest when I smile:)

    – My laugh is contagious…maybe it\’s the snorts or the contorted facial expressions, but it spreads like wildfire.

    – I am a thinker, and I will never be sorry for \’over-analyzing" again.

    – I enjoy learning and I enjoy helping others learn. Sharing knowledge is sharing power.

    – I am a dreamer, both day and night. Dreams are my breath for life.

  3. Willow says:

    You are a womderful person, my sweet little Zigoletto!  I know that your interview will go just fine…but I hope for you that you are calm. I hate to think of you being stressed out dearie. I loved your list. it is a very accurate one that I can see, and I am of course, unbiased in my opinion…  but you did forget to add that you are \’wise\’ far beyond your years, oh! And you are a very NICE person…you have inspired me in many ways!

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